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Wednesday, December 17, 2025

Colza - Pokémon Legends: Arceus

The head of the Galaxy Team's Agriculture Corps managing the farmlands in Jubilife Village, Colza, is the distant ancestor of Gardenia. 

Friday, December 12, 2025

Batman - Creature Commandos

The Gotham based vigilante responsible for defeating Dr Phosphorus and his gang at the Ice Lounge. 

Checkmate - Peacemaker

Founded by disillusioned A.R.G.U.S agents in the wake of the announcement of Project: Salvation.  


Members: 
  • Leota Adebayo
  • Chris Smith, aka Peacemaker
  • Emilia Harcourt
  • Adrian Chase, aka Vigilante
  • John Economos
  • Sasha Bordeaux
  • Langston Fleury
  • Rip Jagger, aka Judomaster
  • Eagly

Sunday, December 7, 2025

The Titans I - Starfire's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

One by one, the original lineup of the Titans fell, either dying in the line of duty or else joining the One Earth Regime, leaving only Starfire left. 


Members: 

  • Starfire/Kori'andr
  • Robin/Dick Grayson
  • Raven/Rachel Roth
  • Cyborg/Victor Stone
  • Beast Boy/Garfield Logan

The Titans II - Starfire's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

A new generation of Titans taken under the wing of the last original Titan, Starfire in the aftermath of the Brainiac invasion. 

Members: 
  • Starfire/Kori'andr
  • Blue Beetle/Jamie Reyes
  • Supergirl/Kara Zor-El
  • Firestorm/Jason Rusch

Friday, December 5, 2025

Brainiac - Red Hood's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

 Shot and killed by Red Hood. 

Red Hood - Red Hood's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

After killing Brainiac, Red Hood turned his attention to protecting Gotham, believing that Batman and Superman were too busy fighting amongst themselves to help those in need. 

He had no qualms killing criminals. 

Professor Pyg - Red Hood's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

Killed by the vigilante Red Hood after he kidnapped a young girl and partially converted her into one of his Dollotrons. 

Sasha - Red Hood's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

A young girl rescued by Red Hood after she was kidnapped by Professor Pyg and partially converted into one of his Dollotrons. 

Darkseid - Darkseid's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

After his last invasion ended in disaster and his son was killed by Superman, Darkseid vowed revenge. He spent the following years rebuilding his forces.

When he learned that Brainiac intended to capture Superman for his collection, Darkseid traveled to Earth to eliminate the Coluan. With Brainiac gone, he launched a full-scale invasion, wiped out the planet’s heroes, and kidnapped both Kal-El and his cousin Kara.

Avenging Kalibak, Darkseid killed Superman and used his blood to create a new breed of Parademon, led by his newest Fury—Supergirl.

Wonder Woman - Darkseid's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

Impaled with her own sword during Darkseid's most recent invasion of Earth. 

Brainiac - Darkseid's Arcade Ending - Injustice 2

Destroyed by Darkseid's Omega Beams after threatening to kidnap and collect Superman. 

Silas Stone - Injustice 2

The father of Victor Stone, aka Cyborg. 

Streaky - Injustice 2

The pet cat of Kara Zor-El. 

Jennifer Brady - And Then There Were None

An elderly woman, Jennifer Brady was smothered to death by her butler, Thomas Rogers, after she bequeathed to both him and his wife, Ethel, a small inheritance in her will. 

Her death was ruled an accident. 

Years later, Brady was posthumously avenged when Lawrence Wargrave, under the alias U.N. Owen, lured the Rogers to Soldier Island, where Thomas was tormented and killed by the former judge. 

Thursday, December 4, 2025

Audrey - And Then There Were None

The personal secretary of Isaac Morris. 

The Dreaming: Waking Hours Transcripts

Intermezzo, Part 1

Heather After: (IM) In my experience, people generally have the wrong idea about magic. They think a spell is an event. Something wasn’t there before, and then bam, there it is, out of the blue. Like you’re stringing beads on a thread, then suddenly, oop! A pearl. Magic.

Professor Pratchett: This committee, with one exception, is very impressed with your dissertation. Your study of Shakespeare is singular-- almost like you were there.

Professor Kerlew: We are pleased to promote you to full professorship. Congratulations, Doctor Morris.

Lindy Morris: Thank you, Professor Kerlew.

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Heather After: (IM) But, to continue the metaphor. Or is it a simile? It’s a simile. The magic part isn’t the sudden appearance of the pearl.

Jophiel: Ruin. Again. What do you want now?!

Ruin: A roommate, Jophiel. I brought three years’ rent.

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Heather After: (IM) The magic is the thread stringing together events and people in ways you would never expect.

Father Paul: Knock knock.

Ben: Father Paul! Sorry, you startled me–

Father Paul: They told me you were leaving. I thought I’d stop by and make a last-ditch attempt to get you to stay.

Ben: I appreciate the vote of confidence, but my mind is made up.

Father Paul: I really thought you’d continue, you have a real gift Ben–a rare gift. The church needs young men like you. Men of intelligence and character. If you send a religious institution second-rate minds, you end up with a second-rate institution. And that’s what we’re in danger of becoming. Think of your calling, Benedict–you could go so far and do so much good!

Ben: What, a big office? A seat in the archdiocese? You saying I could be a bishop someday?

Father Paul: I’m saying you could be pope someday.

Ben: The church will let itself die off before it elects a pope who looks like me. And besides… I keep thinking about my dream. I thought it was a vision. I saw Saint Joan on her pyre. But it wasn’t the fire that stuck with me. It was the boy. Standing in the background. A beautiful, frightened boy.

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Heather After: (IM) And the magician… The magician is the one who can make the thread twitch.

Heather After: I have literally no shoes.

Todd: Don’t you mean figuratively, no shoes? Because that looks an awful lot like a giant pile of shoes–

Heather After: Do you have to be so prosaic, Todd?

Todd: I’m not good with metaphors. What do you want me to wear to this–uhh-- thing?

Heather After: That really cute fishnet top I got you?

Todd: The one that looks like I got dressed in the dark in Stevie Nicks’s closet?

Heather After: That’s the one.

Todd: Heather, only for you would I go to some weird club on a night when the Cubs are playing.

Heather After: I’m really tempted to just…stay in.

Todd: I’d be okay with that. We could fuck and I could watch the Cubs game.

Heather After: Nooo, I have to go to this thing. It’s stock and trade for me. I have to make myself known to certain people. For professional reasons. It’ll be fun. I promise.

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Heather After: (IM) And I’m a magician. Sometimes I have to remind myself. See the thread first. The invisible link between all things. Always connect. Of course, everything is finite. Eventually, you run out of thread. There are some things magic can’t fix. Certain forces that can’t be cheated. It’s important to remember that, too. Even the most powerful magician is not immortal.

Puck: You dance so beautifully for someone who’s about to become a corpse. Surprised to see me? Tis only fair. Imagine how surprised I was to be wrenched from my home and into the middle of your summoning circle.

Heather After: Puck?! How–

Puck: I told you I’d find you again. Did you think it was an idle threat?

Heather After: What, are you going to challenge me to a duel in the middle of the club? We going to whip out our wands? This isn’t Harry P–

Puck: Of course, you think sarcasm will save you. Mediocre talents always do. You can save your breath. I have already won this contest. You simply haven’t realised it yet.

Heather After: Aah! What the fuck was that?

Puck: Your death.

Heather After: Think you might have overestimated your skills, furball. This is barely more dramatic than a paper cut. I’ve gotten worse scars fighting on the playground in sixth grade.

Puck: You utter novice. Are you telling me you don’t know what this is?

Heather After: …Shit. A vorpal sword

Puck: Indeed. That paper cut will never heal. It will bleed and bleed until it has bled your life away. And for my kind–the very nastiest of my kind-- it will be a beacon, as a wounded fawn in the forest brings the wolves. Snicker-snack, you little shit.

Heather After: God damn it!

Heather After: (IM) The connection between all things. Sometimes you see it. And sometimes, someone else sees it first. In which case, you become…how did John put it? “Just one of the punters.” And maybe, secretly, that’s what you longed for all along. Maybe that’s why you took so many stupid risks. Maybe death was what you thought you wanted. And then the big reversal comes. You’re bested you took one too many stupid risks. And you discover, to your surprise, that you want to live.

Heather After: … God damn it. Breathe it down. Breathe it down. Think. Hnnngh! … Old Branch Urgent Care

----------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile

Todd: Heather? … Hey, have you seen a six-foot blonde girl? White T-shirt, short skirt–

Bouncer: You mean the sh–

Todd: Be very careful what you say next. Friendly advice, bro.

Bouncer: Sh-she left. Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes ago.

Todd: She left without telling me?

Bouncer: Looked like she was in a hurry. … No problem, man. Any- time.

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Heather After: (IM) Now is the part where I realise I have made several unfortunate mistakes. One, I’ve only got my I.D. and a twenty-dollar bill on me. All my stuff is at home, including, crucially, the protection amulet left to me by Great-Grandma Ethel. Two, I left Todd at the club, and now it’s too late to involve him without jeopardising his safety. Three, apparently, I care about Todd enough to want to protect him from all this, which is a shame, because I could use a large, clueless sidekick right about now. Which means I’m on my own.

Heather After: Orkilius!

Heather After: (IM) And I’m really, really scared

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Helen: Are you nearly done here, Azar?

Azar: Just a few more accounts to close out-- There’s been an uptick of no-shows for follow-up care. I think maybe we should talk to county about–

Helen: Huh?!

Heather After: Help–

Azar: What happened?

Heather After: I was-- I was-- cut? Stabbed? I don’t even know what to call it–

Helen: Was it gang-related? Should I call the police?

Heather After: No police!

Azar: I need to hang a bag of saline and get a wound kit in here, now!

Heather After: Chalk…I need chalk…

Azar: I don’t understand why such a shallow cut is losing so much blood. Do you have some kind of clotting disorder?

Heather After: Need to… secure this room…

Azar: You don’t worry about that. I’m just going to find a vein so we can run some IV fluids–

Heather After: John. Need to call John…

Azar: Is John your partner?

Heather After: No. Just a mentor. Of sorts.

Azar: Little pinch now.

Heather After: Hnnh! I hate needles…

Azar: Stay awake, please. Hey! What’s your name? Stay with me now–

Heather After: …Heather. Heather After.

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Alexis Burgess: Honey? Can you look at me when I’m talking to you, please?

Frank Burgess: Look–We know being a teenager is hard.

Alexis Burgess: We were teenagers too, once, if you can believe it.

Frank Burgess: This is a time to experiment! That’s healthy! I used to have green hair! Once I even pierced my …

Alexis Burgess: Okay, Frank. What your father...  Is trying to say is that we know you’re changing. And we want to be supportive. But there are limits.

Frank Burgess: If we didn’t draw the line somewhere, we wouldn’t be good parents. Date whoever you want. Wear whatever you want. But there’s one thing that will never be welcome in this house. Magic. You know how dangerous this stuff is. You know what it’s cost our family after what happened to Grandpa Burgess, we swore we’d give it up.

Alexis Burgess: You wear that amulet like it’s some kind of fashion accessory. It’s supposed to be locked up in a bank vault. It came from Hell, for God’s sake.

Frank Burgess: You’ve got to stop before you get in way over your head

Heather After: No.

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Azar: This is so weird, I can’t find anything wrong–nothing to explain why that cut won’t stop bleeding, even with pressure…

Helen: All we can do is keep the patient under observation and hope for the best.

Azar: She’s going to be here for at least a day. I’m going to put in an order for some of these other meds in the chart her PCP sent over–I see estradiol and a couple of other things–

Helen: That’s not the kind of care we offer here. We’re treating a stab wound; the patient can continue ongoing treatment for other conditions with the primary care physician.

Azar: But stopping a regular medication so suddenly could trigger changes in blood pressure. That could be catastrophic after blood loss–

Helen: It will do no such thing. The patient hasn’t lost that much blood. These aren’t critical medications. Just keep an eye on the patient until the doctor makes his rounds. No meddling.

Azar: Hey, George?

George: Huh?

Azar: I’m stepping out for a minute. If Helen gets mad, tell her I’ll be back as soon as I can…

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Heather After: (IM) Must act fast. Before I pass out again.

Heather After: Hnnggh-- John? Please be there…

John Constantine: Hullo?

Heather After: John! Thank God! I didn’t think you’d answer!

John Constantine: Heather?! Why the hell are you calling me at this number? What’s going on?

Heather After: I may have stepped in some shit.

John Constantine: What’s happened?

Heather After: I pissed off a faerie who cut me with a cursed blade.

John Constantine: Jesus! All right, all right. First things first. Have you secured the perimeter of the room?

Heather After: Not really? I’m really dizzy, and I don’t have any supplies–he jumped me at the club–

John Constantine: Christ, Heather! You never leave home without your basic bits of kit! That’s just irresponsible!

Heather After: I was wearing a miniskirt! There was nowhere to put anything! I had to carry my ID in my bra!

John Constantine: Fine, whatever, we’ll work with what you’ve got. You’re going to need a protector. Something big. Just to tide you over until you’ve laid in supplies to exorcise the cursed wound…

Heather After: This is going to have to be quick and dirty–

John Constantine: You don’t have much of a choice, love.

Heather After: I don’t even know if there’s enough room in this closet for the size of the thing I’m gonna try to hook. If I screw this up, you’re going to have to fly all the way out here and fix it.

John Constantine: Yeah, that’s happening.

Heather After: Calindrom Appelon–

John Constantine: Oi! You’re not really going to throw that spell, are you?! You could bring down an archangel with–

Heather After: Athelios Arnen–

Heather After: (IM) I ignore him. Because I need the biggest, baddest thing I can possibly get. And I’m willing to pay for it.

Heather After: Work, damn it!

John Constantine: Heather? Hullo? You still there?

Heather After: …Yeah. Yeah, I’m still here.

John Constantine: Did it work?

Matthew: Where the hell is this? Who the hell are you?

Goldie: Meep!

John Constantine: Did it work?

Heather After: Hey, John? I’m gonna have to call you back.


Heather After: (IM) …Sometimes, in the stupidest ways, the universe likes to remind me that I’m still a fucking Burgess. And, carrying on the family tradition, totally screwed

=====================================

Intermezzo, Part 2

Matthew: I don’t think we’re in the Dreaming anymore, Goldie. Walls…windows…IV drip…heart rate monitor—hold on a minute! This is a hospital! I hate hospitals! Come on, short stack! We’re getting out of here!

Goldie: Meep! Meep! Meep!

Matthew: Uhhh —

Heather After: Are you… okay? Hnnggh-- Are you seriously a talking bird?

Matthew: Talking bird?! I’m a raven! The raven! But you can call me Matthew.

Heather After: What about that?

Matthew: Goldie? She’s a gargoyle.

Heather After: Gargoyles come in cute plushie sizes?

Matthew: It’s a baby gargoyle, for Chrissakes! For a wizard, you’re a little dense…

Heather After: S-sorry. I’m not feeling like myself–

Matthew: Now what’s going on? Are those minor Unseeliez?!

Heather After: I th-think so.

Matthew: What did you do?!

Heather After: I pissed off a faerie. In my defence, it was for a good cause.

Matthew: And you summoned me and the lizard to do what exactly?!

Heather After: I don’t know! Protect me! I thought you’d be bigger! Listen, can you fly across town to my apartment? There’s a protection amulet in my living room that I could really use right now–

Matthew: What’s in it for me?

Heather After: Your good deed for the day?

Matthew: I don’t do good deeds. I do favours. What does this amulet look like?

Heather After: Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it–

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ruin: How am I supposed to find him? The boy? The dreamer? Now that I’m here, it seems impossible–

Jophiel: This is it. This is what exile is. I’m being tested.

Ruin: I guess I could just start walking.

Jophiel: I blame myself, really. I’ve become yielding and sentimental in my old age.

Ruin: Or look at pictures? I could look at pictures. Don’t they have some kind of book faces?

Jophiel: What now?


Todd: Hi. Uh–hi.

Jophiel: You’re the one called Todd.

Todd: Yeah, yeah, I’m the one called Todd, Heather’s boyfriend. Have you seen her? She disappeared last night and she’s not at her apartment–

Jophiel: Well, she’s not here.

Todd: I’m starting to freak out. It’s not like her to just take off without saying anything.

Jophiel: Fine. Let’s go.

Todd: Go where?

Jophiel: To find your girlfriend you ambulatory protein shake. Ruin! Put your shoes on, we’re going for a walk!

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Jophiel: Hmm. There is a residue here. A frayed edge between worlds… When she left this place, something followed her… Something that had been here before and knew where to find her…

Ruin: Puck. It must be. My fault, as usual … If only she’d left some kind of clue–


Matthew: Out of the way! I’m on a mission and I got no time for small talk!

Ruin: Matthew?! What are you doing here?

Matthew: What am I doing here? What are you doing here?

Ruin: I haven’t run away this time if that’s what you’re thinking. I have permission from Lord Dream.

Matthew: It’s a bad business letting a nightmare loose in the waking world. Even a nice nightmare. This’ll all end in tears.

Ruin: Are you just here to be mean, or do you actually have something to do?

Matthew: I was summoned by a sorceress who has sent me to bring her protection amulet. Which, believe it or not, is the least weird part of my day so far.

Todd: You’ve seen her? Where is she? What’s going on?

Matthew: Relax, big guy. She’s alive. She’s in a hospital. Apparently, she got into it with some faerie who sliced up her arm. Now if you’d just get out of my way, I’ve gotta find an amulet-

Ruin: Could it be this?

Matthew: Where did you get that? Where did she get that? I’m not touching that thing!

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Azar: Hello? Anybody home? I know it’s early, but I’m here from the medical centre–hello? Sorry, this is kind of an emergency–

Jophiel: Oh good, someone else at the door now. Yes? … Oh dear. This is inconvenient.

Ruin: Wh-what’s wrong with her?

Jophiel: Nothing’s wrong with her, you dolt. She has true sight. She sees us as we really are— or as her people see us. She must have a prophet or two in her family tree.

Todd: Did you say you’re here from the hospital? Does that mean you’ve seen Heather? How bad is it?

Azar: That’s… That’s an angel. And th-that thing is one of the hidden people…

Todd: They look like two okay dudes to me.

Jophiel: True sight is something you will never have to worry about, Todd.

Todd: Please tell me what’s going on. The only lead I have so far is from a talking bird.

Azar: I–I came to pick up Heather’s daily meds and to find someone to go and sit with her. For reasons the hospital won’t supply her regular medication, and I worry about her being alone—

Todd: Right. I’ll grab them and we’ll go now–

Matthew: What about me? I’m not carrying that thing.

Todd: Then I will.

Matthew: Fine I’m going home. And I’m telling Dream that the amulet is here-- make sure Goldie’s okay!

Ruin: Goldie? What does any of this have to do with Goldie?

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Heather After: (IM) There’s nothing I hate more than feeling helpless. I have to remind myself that the magic doesn’t come from my tools, from some chalk scribbles on the floor. It comes from me. And I will get through this by myself. Which is why I seal the door.


Goldie: Meep?

Heather After: Yup, just us chickens, I’m afraid. This way no civilians will wander in here and get the shock of their lives. Aah! Damn it! We’re running out of time. I need you to do something for a second.

Goldie: Meep?

Heather After: Yeah, I know. This is all really scary. But you’re linked to another world. I can use you as a focal point. Like fishing for paper clips with a magnet.


Heather After: (IM) This is my last shot. The only thing standing between me and death. The point between before and after.

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Todd: Heather! Hnnggh! It won’t open!

Azar: That’s impossible. These doors can’t be locked from the inside, for safety reasons–

Todd: Heather! It’s me! I need to know you’re okay!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Goldie: …Meep?

Heather After: …Yes. I agree.

Auberon: Well that was unexpected. Who are you?

Heather After: …You’re him. You’re Auberon. The faerie king.

Auberon: I would be, wouldn’t I? I am unaware of any others.

Heather After: Wow. We did good Goldie.

Goldie: Meep.

Auberon: This room is filthy with Unseelie. Someone must have tracked them in on their shoes.

Heather After: It was me. I’ve been cursed by one of your people.

Auberon: Who?

Heather After: It was Puck.

Auberon: Ouch. He is a nasty little canker. There. That’s these Unseelie gone, but they will return unless the curse itself is lifted. I assume that’s why you summoned me.

Heather After: You assume correctly.

Auberon: Then I have bad news. Auberon I may be, but I am no longer king of the fair folk. I have been…undone. Dethroned stripped of my titles and my authority by a perfidious traitor… Yet even dethroned as I am, my help comes at a cost.

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Todd: We met on a dating app. I guess we must’ve both swiped right. I didn’t think it’d go anywhere. I thought we were too different. Like I was too boring for her, and she was…not like anybody I’ve ever known before. But soon we were texting each other all day. When we finally met in person, she seemed really nervous. We met at this sports bar I go to, and some people were staring. It…never even occurred to me that maybe this bar was not the best choice. She kept checking her phone like she was planning her escape. I realised she was afraid. Of me. Afraid I’d taken her somewhere unsafe. Afraid I might hurt her, or get up and leave. So I asked her if she wanted to get out of there and have dinner somewhere nice, and she smiled this smile I will never forget. I think…I think she thinks she’s hard to love. But loving her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. And now she won’t let me in…She won’t let me help…

Azar: She’s resilient. I could see that right away. We have to believe she’ll pull through…

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Heather After: You want me to help you get your throne back? How?

Auberon: How is not my problem. I merely expect your services in return for mine.

Heather After: I was told never to make deals with faeries. It’s always a bad idea.

Auberon: Well, you’re free to walk away. I’m sure you could summon some other king of the faeries who could raise your curse.

Heather After: How bad is it? I mean what is it gonna take? To defeat this… traitor?

Auberon: I will tell you the story… It began with one of my wife’s handmaidens, Nuala. I admit Titania was not as kind to Nuala as she might have been, but— It does not excuse Nuala’s treachery. When Titania confronted her, she revealed a secret: She knew Titania’s true name. And with that, she toppled us both from our thrones, Titania is Nuala’s hand-maiden now, and I live as a hapless vagabond.

Heather After: (IM) Here’s the other thing about magic: Sometimes the way into a mess is also the way out.

Heather After: Did you say true name? …Okay. I’ll do it.

Auberon: We have a deal, then. Hold on. This might pinch.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Azar: What was that?!

Todd: Nothing good— Heather! If you’re in there, say something — I brought your eyeball necklace.


Heather After: Awww! That’s so sweet! Did the raven find you?

Todd: Yeah, the bird! And Azar brought your meds from home.

Heather After: Wow. Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.

Azar: Just doing my job … sort of.

Heather After: (IM) Magic is timing. Magic is the small victories. The seen and the unforeseen. Carrying you forward in ways you never expected.

=======================================

The Faerie King, Part 1

Azar: I hope that coffee is for me, Ben.

Ben: Azar, my darling---rough day?

Azar: I don't even know what day it is. I had the weirdest time at work...I think the sleep deprivation is getting to me. I imagined I saw an angel and some sort of demon or jinn or nightmare or--

Ben: There are things between heaven and earth we simply can't explain.

Azar: I knew you would understand. What about you, Ben? How are you adjusting to life after the seminary?

Ben: I--I don't know. I thought I had a plan, but now I think maybe I don't. I was going to start over. Find a real job. But something keeps pulling at me-- The thing is... I keep having the same dream.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jophiel: You want us to do what?

Heather After: Look, I know it's a big ask, but I think we can kill two birds with one stone. This guy Ruin is looking for... If he's really so beautiful and sublime or whatever, what if he's not actually human? There are lots of demi-mortal beings who dream, he could be one of the Fair Folk, it's not a terrible idea to look for him in Faerie. Right?

Jophiel: This is dubious logic.

Ruin: Do you really think he might be one of the Fae?

Jophiel: No, because if he was one of the Fae, it is unlikely that Heaven would have sent me to recruit him. We don't generally send people to the Fae. They're not really interested.

Ruin: But it's not impossible?

Jophiel: Look what you've started.

Heather After: Hey, if I were in love with a mysterious hot guy, I'd want him to be one of the Fae. A dryad in particular...with horns... Anyway, thing two is: we have to depose this evil queen named Nuala. Because I promised.

Jophiel: Great. First, we were trying to escape a Faerie, and now we're going to Faerie. If either of you gets enchanted I'm not lifting a finger to help.

Ruin: But...how are we going to get there? Last time it was a big issue--

Heather After: With this. King Auberon gave me two seeds from some kind of Faerie tree or whatever. One to bring us there, one to bring us back.

Jophiel: Who has the second seed?

Heather After: I gave it to Todd!

Jophiel: Why does this not fill me with confidence.

Ruin: To think that we could be close--I could find the dreamer today--I have a good feeling about this, Jophiel--

Heather After: Put your shoes on, kids! We're going to save a Faerie King!

Jophiel: I thought you were an anarchist. Why endanger our lives to prop up a narcissistic despot like Auberon?

Heather After: What do you care?

Jophiel: I care because Ruin is going to get his heart broken if you drag him around on fools' errands! You've seen the way his power seeps into everything around him, even when he tries to control it. We don't know what he's capable of.

Heather After: His power-- and yours and mine--is exactly why I'm not worried, Jo. We're a sorceress, an angel, and a nightmare. No sparkly little pixies are going to get the better of us. Abra Cadabra.

Jophiel: This is a terrible mistake.

---------------------------------------------------

Ruin: Whoa.

Jophiel: Whoa.

Heather After: Come on. It's perfectly safe! Wow. Does anybody smell weed? I smell weed.

Ruin: It's so beautiful... Like something Lord Dream would create in the parts of the Dreaming I was never allowed to see...

Jophiel: This is nothing. You should see the Choir of Heaven where I was made. Colours too bright for mortal eyes...

Heather After: Oh shush let Ruin enjoy himself. This'll be like a nice vacatio---oh.

---------------------------

Meanwhile, in the Dreaming...

Merv Pumpkinhead: Somethin' on yer mind, boss?

Dream: Yes. Much.

Merv Pumpkinhead: Ooohkay then.

Dream: I have been... uneasy about the nightmare Ruin ever since I agreed to let him wander the waking world at will. At times I think...I think I've made a mistake. To blur the lines between waking and dreams... It has happened before, and it has never ended well.

Matthew: Dream! Hey! This is an emergency!

Dream: What is it, Matthew?

Matthew: The amulet! The one that woman stole from the wizard Sykes when he bailed on the guy who imprisoned--uh-- well, you know the story! I've seen it!

Dream: That line died out a generation ago. The amulet was presumed lost.

Matthew: I'm telling you, I saw it! A girl had it!

Dream: What girl?

Matthew: Some sorceress that Ruin's gotten himself tangled up with!

Dream: Then it is just as I feared. Allowing a nightmare to leave the Dreaming...has brought old evils to the waking world.

---------------------------

Ruin: Is it supposed to look like that?!

Jophiel: What on earth happened here?

Heather After: I kind of thought there'd be more hot naked people by now, honestly.

Jophiel: It would appear that there has been a war in Faerie.

Heather After: Fuck. This is worse than I thought.

Ruin: Is Faerie like the Dreaming, then? Does it fall into chaos without its king?

Heather After: I don't believe that kings are special, even Faerie kings. This is just what happens when there's a power vacuum and people get greedy and start fighting instead of sharing.

Jophiel: Heather would like us to believe that all peoples can live in peace and harmony without leadership. But there are hierarchies everywhere, throughout nature and in all realms. Sheep need a shepherd.

Ruin: Leaders don't know everything about the people they lead. Dream didn't know me, and he created me--- uhh---aaah!

Nymph: ... ... ... What's wrong with you? I was almost dead... I could feel the end coming so sweetly...Now I must die all over again...

Ruin: I thought you were a stick!

Nymph: I am a tree nymph, you little fool!

Jophiel: What has happened to this place?

Nymph: When Lady Nuala took the throne from Auberon and Titania, there was an uprising... Brother fought against brother, stick against stone until Nuala crushed all who opposed her. Now she rules without opposition over a dead land...

Heather After: Where is she now? This Nuala person?

Nymph: Where? The Bower, of course. The oldest garden in all Faerie. But you cannot simply walk there...

Heather After: Why?

Nymph: She has turned the Unseelie with threats and promises. They patrol every part of Faerie now. They are watching even as we speak... Nuala's rule is absolute, and you are not of the Fair Folk. You should leave now, while you still have heads upon your shoulders.

Jophiel: Yes, thank you very much for such salient advice. We'll be on our way.

Heather After: Hey! We can't just bail out like this! If I don't keep my promise to Auberon, that curse will rebound on me twofold!

Jophiel: That is hardly my problem. You heard the nymph. We're all dead if we stay here.

-------------------------------------------------

New Jersey presently.

Goldie: Meep. Meep.

Matthew: See, I told you she was holding Goldie captive!

Dream: Goldie seems quite happy.

Matthew: We're here to save you, lizard breath! Nobody's gonna let the nasty sorceress put you under a spell!

Goldie: Meep. Meep meep!

Dream: So. The sorceress left you to guard her sanctuary, did she?

Goldie: Meep.

Matthew: What else she has knocking around in here! What other... stuff she might have stashed away...

Dream: I do not sense any other objects of great magical weight here. Although--there is a coalescing in this place...the spiral of time doubling back upon itself...warning us that that which has happened before will happen again.

--------------------------------------------------

Heather After: Do you see anything that looks like a garden?

Ruin: No. Only roots and rocks.

Jophiel: This is ridiculous! We should have turned back hours ago!

Ruin: This reminds me of the box. Where all the nightmares are kept. It's hard to be good when you live in a place that makes you so sad...

Heather After: Aww baby! That's terrible! You must have been so lonely!

Jophiel: Hey! What about me? I was thrown out of my eternal home for something that wasn't even my fault!

Heather After: I'd have plenty of sympathy to spare if you weren't so damn negative all the time! Now where is this fucking garden?!

Ruin: Wait. Do you hear that?

Jophiel: Hear what?

Ruin: It sounds like music...

Heather After: Hold on. I hear it too. Like singing...and the sound of an instrument I've never heard before.

Jophiel: I don't hear anything! Wait! Stop! You don't know what could be lurking out there--

Ruin: I think it's getting closer.

Heather After: Yeah. I can't decide if I can hear it or taste it... There! Look!

Jophiel: What is wrong with you?! Don't you realize how dangerous this situation is?

Heather After: ...Whoa.

Ruin: Nothing is wrong...For the first time in my life, nothing is wrong...

Fairy #1: Look, sister! What lovely creatures have wandered into our path!

Fairy #2: Ah! So beautiful and so sad!

Fairy #1: Where are you from, traveller?

Heather After: Does it matter?

Fairy #2: Where are you going then?

Heather After: We're going...We're going to...

Fairy #2: Yes?

Heather After: Yes. Yes.

Minotaur: Will you tell me why you're so sad, little friend?

Ruin: I ... will tell you anything you ask...

Minotaur: Then come sit on my lap, so you may unburden yourself of your troubles...

Ruin: Oh. Okay.

Jophiel: Do you idiots see yourselves? Don't you understand what's happening here?! You're being bewitched! Entranced! Ensorcelled! This is what faeries do!

Satyr: Why do you frown so, good sir?

Jophiel: Don't even bother. It won't work on me.

Fairy #3: Are you sure?

Jophiel: Quite sure.

Satyr: Fine. Whatever.

Fairy #3: The music plays on!

Jophiel: Wait! You can't just take them with you!

Fairy #1:  They come of their own free will, oh silent wing'd brother! You cannot stop them!

Jophiel: Hey! Snap out of it!

Ruin: Huh?

Jophiel: What happened to being in love? What happened to searching all the realms of dreams and men to find your beloved boy?

Ruin: Oh yeah. The dreamer. I was looking for the dreamer...

Jophiel: Yes, you were, and instead you're going to couple in the bushes with this ambulatory sirloin steak.

Ruin: Am I? I don't even really know how...

Jophiel: For God's sake, Ruin! Hear what I'm saying!

Fairy #1: Give up cherub. You're in Queen Nuala's realm now. And not even the Heavenly Host has power here.

Jophiel: Hnnggh!

Fairy #1: Good night, sweet cousin. The age of Auberon and Titania is over. And the age of the Unseelie has just begun.

==================================

The Faerie King, Part 2

Ruin: Oh, that's-- that's-- mmm.

Heather After: Just one more. Then I'm definitely done.

Ruin: Done? I dunno. I think I could get used to this in another ten minutes.

Heather After: I think I already have.

Ruin: We should get up and do something.

Heather After: We were on a mission, we are very busy and important people.

Ruin: This is just a minor delay.

Heather After: We made it this far... We deserve a little self-care break. Do you...by any chance... remember what our mission was?

Ruin: I don't remember anything. Or maybe--wait a minute--there was something about a debt--and a boy--

Minotaur: Don't think about that. Forget all your cares...

Ruin: Forget my cares. That sounds nice. But there was something...something important...

Heather After: You gotta learn to go with the flow, Ruin. You're too tense. You're as bad as Jophiel. Wait. Where is Jophiel?

----------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, where Jophiel is

Jophiel: Hnnggh-- I know you're not supposed to help. Not supposed to interfere. Only to pray for us. But I could really use a sign right now.. Just a sign. Please. Because of all the pillars of heaven, it is you I miss the most. My dearest friend. ...That's all.

Auberon: Jophiel?! Jophiel of the Heavenly Host? What are you doing here, so far from your own dominion?

Jophiel: Well well. King Auberon.

Auberon: It's been. What, a thousand years? Two thousand?

Jophiel: Something like that.

Auberon: The last time I saw you, you were freshly back from the Harrowing of Hell.

Jophiel: Things have changed

Auberon: Have they ever. How did you end up in my realm, unable to fend off a few sniveling Unseelie?

Jophiel: You saw that? Why didn't you intervene?

Auberon: I couldn't imagine why one of the first of the firstborn would need my help! Besides... I am a fugitive here. Not a king. Not any longer. My word holds no weight. I didn't intervene because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop them.

Jophiel: That, in fact, is why I'm here. Not that I care what happens in this realm of lies. But Heather After says she owes you a debt, and she's convinced Ruin, who is not the wisest being ever created, to come with her.

Auberon: Still shielding the innocent, I see. Old habits die hard

Jophiel: Harder than you know. Do you know where the Unseelie were taking them?

Auberon: No. But I can guess. They'll take your friends to her, their new queen.

----------------------------------------

Heather After: This place is so amazing! I can't believe we actually wanted to leave! I'm sure Jophiel is perfectly fine. Right?!

Ruin: I --- I

Heather After: ... Yeah, me too.

Fairy #1: But you are still weighed down by the past! Let me unburden you further--

Heather After: What did you say?

Fairy #1: Did we do something wrong? What is it?

Heather After: Nothing, I just-- remembered something--

---------------------------------------------------

Ethel Cripps: Listen, child it's not going to be easy. Your inheritance.

Heather After: I don't want any of the money Great-Grammy Ethel.

Ethel Cripps: I know that. But the things you do want, you're too young to have. Your parents were right to turn their backs on the rest of the Burgess family. That name is cursed.

Heather After: Then I'll make up a new one.

Ethel Cripps: You can't just make up a new name.

Heather After: Well I'm gonna do it anyway. I like Heather. Because I'm gonna live happily Heather after.

Ethel Cripps: This is no time for bravado, kid. You have no idea what you're asking for. Your great- grandfather was destroyed by magic, and your uncle Alex--

Heather After: Half-great-uncle Alex.

Ethel Cripps: Well, whatever the hell he is.. He hated your branch of the family. Born on the wrong side of the sheets and all. He didn't want your dad to inherit the Burgess name. If his little boyfriend Paul knew what you were after, he'd try to stop you.

Heather After: So we don't tell him.

Ethel Cripps: He-- hnnggh! He's smarter than he looks--

Heather After: ...Grammy? Are you dead?

Ethel Cripps: Not yet, you greedy little sneak. Listen. There's another reason Alex Burgess hates your side of the family. He'd like to think his dad was something special. That mastery of the arcane is in his blood. But Alex never became the magician his father was. My son-- my son did--my little Johnny Dee--I was paying attention, see. Roderick thought I was just a silly little fool, a pretty mistress half his age who was too stupid to cause trouble. But I was paying attention. I have power of my own. And you... You have both bloodlines... Burgess and Cripps... Your father and grandfather turned away from their craft, but you will resurrect it.

Heather After: I don't wanna be like great-grandpa Roderick, or like you. All you do is hurt people. I wanna be a good wizard like Gandalf. Or if I can't be good, I at least wanna be cool. I'm just here to say goodbye 'cause dad says you're probably gonna die soon and we hafta be polite.

Ethel Cripps: You really expect me to leave you the amulet when you defy me like this?

Heather After: It doesn't matter whether you leave me the amulet or not. I'll figure out a way to get it anyway. That's not why I came. I came to tell you I'm not gonna be part of your plan. I'm not a new beginning. I'm the end.

--------------------------------------------

Heather After: Don't wanna be like them... So why am I here...? Why am I doing this...?

Ruin: Wait. Where is Heather going?

Minotaur: Does it matter?

Ruin: Of course it matters. She's my friend

Minotaur: She can take care of herself.

Ruin: I haven't been around very long, but if there's one thing I've learned already, it's that even the friends who can take care of themselves need help sometimes. Heather! Wait! What's wrong?

Heather After: We're lost We're supposed to be looking for Nuala and fixing this mess. Lord, I thought I was above this. Getting enchanted by flipping faeries, I thought I was, I don't know, too sophisticated and evolved for their tricks to work. Guess I was wrong.

Ruin: It doesn't seem like we messed up too bad. Nobody's dead.

Heather After: Ruin, we have no idea where we are. Or where Jophiel is. If we want to get back on track, we have to--

Minotaur: Where are you going, sweet friends? We're just starting to have fun. And now you've spoiled it.

Fairy #1: This could have been so pleasant. You would have drifted off on a wave of pleasure, never knowing what would become of you.

Fairy #2: But instead, you have chosen the awful truth. And you will be wide awake when we devour you.

-------------------------------------------------------

Jophiel: Are you sure you know where we're going?

Auberon: My dear cherub, this is my kingdom. Of course I know where we're going.

Jophiel: I mean are you sure you know where they're going.

Auberon: Nuala (nnf) holds court (nnf) in the Bower, the traditional home of my family-- I'm certain that is where they will take your friends ...To think it has come to this. The Faerie King scrambling through the mud begging for help from a mortal sorceress. Bartering for his own throne. I don't think I was such a bad king, Jophiel. Not bad enough to deserve this.

Jophiel: Perhaps you weren't the king you thought you were.

Auberon: It's easy for those who have never ruled to judge their rulers. You try keeping the peace between a dozen tribes of spoiled, semi-immortal monsters. They needed strength. Majesty, Titania gave them that. And I thought--

Harpy: Kraaaw!

Auberon: Get down!

Jophiel: What is it?

Auberon: A spy. The harpies came with the Unseelie. All that passes here is reported to Nuala...

Jophiel: Is it gone?

Auberon: Stay here while I look. I don't think it saw us. Harpies are malicious, but they're not very sm--

Harpy: Skree!

Auberon: Are you just going to stand there?!

Jophiel: If I interfere, it disturbs the balance of power between realms! I just got chewed out by that smug article Kushiel for--

Harpy: Skree!

Auberon: Can't you make an exception?!

Jophiel: Fine. Everything is already terrible anyway.

Auberon: Why didn't you do that when the Unseelie attacked you?

Jophiel: Because I'm not even supposed to be here! I'm meant to be living a life of solitude and contemplation, not battling faeries!

Auberon: No help for it now, I'm afraid. You've gone too far to turn back. We'll have to continue in disguise.

Jophiel: Is this really necessary? I feel ridiculous.

Transforms Jophiel and himself. 

Attendee: (Auberon) Do you want to get caught by the harpies or not? Now pretend you're a handsome sprite and I am your wizened old mother.

Sprite: (Jophiel) All I have left is regret.

Attendee: (Auberon) And an excellent left hook, if you don't mind my saying so.

--------------------------------------------------

Heather After: Can we pause for a minute? My feet are killing me.

Minotaur: Quiet, conjurer.

Heather After: I'm sorry, Ruin. I should have taken this whole thing more seriously.

Ruin: It's okay.

Heather After: It's really not. I've put us all in danger by being flippant. This is death by flippancy. And all along, I--I knew he wouldn't be here.

Ruin: Who?

Heather After: The boy. Your dreamer. Jophiel was right. He's probably not one of the Fae. I just--needed an excuse for you guys to come with me so I wouldn't have to do this alone.

Ruin: Why didn't you just ask? Why did you have to trick me? I would have come anyway!

Heather After: Because I'm used to having people bail on me! Or only help because of some ulterior motive! I'm not used to--to-- to friends who stick around...

Minotaur: I said quiet! We've almost arrived--

Heather After: What is that?

Minotaur: The Bower, of course. Seat of the Lady Nuala.

Heather After: What a shithole.

Ruin: What a day.

Fairy #1: When you are brought before Queen Nuala, it is important that you show respect.

Fairy #2: Kneel. Cower. Let her see you quake in terror.

Ruin: Why? Is she nearsighted or something?

Fairy #2: Just do as you're told! If you're lucky, she might kill you quickly.

Queen Nuala: H-Hello, hapless minions. I'm Queen Nuala. All sh-shall t-tremble before me.

=======================

The Faerie King, Part 3

Heather After: I really am sorry. I get it. You're not speaking to me. I promise I'll never mislead you again. I forget that you're only technically six months old or whatever. Look on the bright side-- at least we got an incredible adventure out of this whole thing, right?

Minotaur: Stop whispering! Show the queen some respect!

Heather After: Hnnggh!

Queen Nuala: You don't have to hurt them. They were just talking.

Unseelie #1: Talking out of turn, your grace. Spinning lies, as spies and usurpers always do.

Queen Nuala: How did you get here? You're not faeries.

Ruin: Ask her.

Heather After: We, uh-- we walked. Through a door. I swear I'm not being an asshole.

Queen Nuala: You feel strange, like something moving in the dark, like a bad omen.

Ruin: I'm a nightmare.

Queen Nuala: You're from the Dreaming? Then--then you've seen him? Dream?

Ruin: Yes?

Queen Nuala: Does he talk about me?

Ruin: No?

Queen Nuala: Oh.

Ruin: Just because I've never heard him mention you doesn't mean he never talks about you at all. We're not exactly close.

Unseelie #1: My lady, these are clearly spies. We must detain them for questioning. The harpies have brought news of strangers abroad in the land.

Queen Nuala: But--

Unseelie #2: You must give the order, my queen.

Queen Nuala: But I-- fine, separate them.

Ruin: Heather!

Heather After: No! Don't hurt him! Get off of me! Stop--

Ruin: Listen! I know you're really nice! I can see it! Don't do this--

Queen Nuala: I--I have to listen to them--I have no choice--without them, I have no throne--

Heather After: You haven't even heard what we have to say! Your land is in chaos! If you're really the queen, you can fix this--ggh!

Ruin: Heather?! Heather! Answer me! Hnnggh!

Queen Nuala: What's he doing?!

Titania: How vile!

Queen Nuala: S-somebody stop him before he destroys the whole throne room!

Minotaur: Fear not, my queen! I shall save--

Unseelie #2: Enough of this nonsense. You are nothing but a dream within a dream. You have no power here. A dream is formless. The mind of the dreamer gives it shape and what is thought can be unthought. What is shaped, reshaped. There, you're not so big after all, are you? Just a little lost horror, feeding on the fear of others from behind those wide eyes. I will deal with this one myself.

Heather After: Ruin.... What'd you do to Ruin...

Unseelie #1: He is in...safe hands. He will learn that a bad dream is no match for true malevolence.

-----------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere in Faerie

Sprite: (Jophiel) How much farther? My feet are killing me.

Attendee: (Auberon) I remember a time when your feet didn't even touch the ground.

Sprite: (Jophiel) That was before I grew old and foolish. Before I---before I took the beauty of what I do for granted. I blame Ruin for my exile, but in fact--- I could have held on to that boy. I just-- lost my sense of purpose.

Attendee: (Auberon) Purpose. Yes, the thing that drives you fades with the centuries. You begin to forget why you exist. It's extraordinary what we learn to take for granted. And what we squander. I believe I was a good king once, Jophiel. But I lost my way. Ah. Here we are. The gates of the Bower. Home sweet home.

Sprite: (Jophiel) What a dump.

Minotaur: Out of my way! Stand back!

Sprite: (Jophiel) It's that Minotaur!

Attendee: (Auberon) Hush! He doesn't recognise you! Just stay calm-- What's wrong, dearie? You seem to have injured yourself.

Minotaur: The nightmare. It destroyed the throne room-- nearly flattened Queen Nuala-- and my arm--

Sprite: (Jophiel) Ruin--

Minotaur: Where is he going?

Attendee: (Auberon) He is concerned for Queen Nuala, no doubt. My son is a patriotic boy. Now off you go--see to that big, strong arm--

Sprite: (Jophiel) Ruin! Where are you?! Have you seen a skinny blue-haired boy?

Titania: Does he turn into a ball of snakes?

Sprite: (Jophiel) Yes, yes!

Titania: I'm afraid you're too late. One of Nuala's counsellors took him away.

Sprite: (Jophiel) And the sorceress? The blonde one?

Titania: In an oubliette. Probably dead. Not my concern.

Sprite: (Jophiel) Oh no--

Attendee: (Auberon) Jophiel! I told you to...Titania?!

Titania: Have you come to gawp at how far your queen has fallen? At how low our beautiful kingdom has been laid? You may as well stare. Look at what the new queen has brought upon us in her quest to right the wrongs of the past. Even my own husband has abandoned me...

Attendee: (Auberon) Perhaps he only left to seek aid from other quarters.

Titania: My husband? The wastrel King Auberon? That will be the day. Are you married, crone?

Attendee: (Auberon) Yes, in fact.

Titania: Then you know what a long marriage is like. On your wedding day, you see only the perfect, golden creature with whom you fell in love. Then the years pass. You realise you are no longer married to that person. They have become someone else. And you're not sure how to fall in love with that new someone.

Attendee: (Auberon) Perhaps ... perhaps that new someone still remembers how to love you, my lady.

Titania: You're very kind

Attendee: (Auberon) I...I should have been kinder. Instead of silent all these years...

Titania: What on earth do you mean?

Attendee: (Auberon) Nothing. Never mind. If only that summoner would uphold her end of the bargain...

----------------------------------------------------

Heather After: Hnnggh-

------------------------------------------------------

Receptionist: And you are? Kiddo? Are you here with your mom and dad? Hon? Are you listening?

Heather After: Uh. Yeah, I'm here for the reading of my great-grandmother's will.

Receptionist: Is Mr. Kirsch expecting you?

Heather After: If he's not, he should be.

Receptionist: Is this some kind of joke? Ethel Cripps's estate is in a delicate legal situation. There have already been fights.

Heather After: I'm not here for her money. I'll just go say hi.

Receptionist: Hey! Wait!


Mr. Kirsch: Mr. McGuire, if we could please just--

Paul McGuire: No. The bulk of Ethel Cripps's money came from the Burgess estate, and it needs to go back to the Burgess estate. I've already had to sell off land to help pay for Alex's care--

Narissa Sykes: So we're going to ignore what she stole from Ruthven? The Sykes family--

Paul McGuire: Oh, come on, Narissa! How are we supposed to disentangle the Sykes money now, so many decades later?

Narissa Sykes: Easy. Most of what she stole from Ruthven wasn't money. It was artefacts. Tangible goods. I would like those back, please.

Heather After: It's too late.

Paul McGuire: Huh?!

Heather After: She left the good amulet to her son. The weird guy. All the other stuff is gone.

Narissa Sykes: How do you know? Who are you?

Heather After: I'm one of the other Burgesses. And I'm here for my share.

Paul McGuire: You're one of his grandkids. The by-blow.

Heather After: That's right.

Paul McGuire: Roderick Burgess, cut your branch of the family out of his will. You're not his legitimate heirs. All of that money belongs to Alex.

Heather After: Screw Grandpa Roderick, this isn't about him. I'm here 'cause of Grandma Ethel. I just want something to remember her by.

Mr. Kirsch: What did you have in mind, sweet pea?

Heather After: I dunno. Her shawl 'cause it smells like her. Her journals. That one brooch she wore sometimes, with the fake diamonds.

Mr. Kirsch: You can have a rummage through those boxes of her personal effects. We saved them just in case.

Narissa Sykes: That sounds reasonable enough to me.

Paul McGuire: Sure, kid, knock yourself out.

Narissa Sykes: Back to the point--

Paul McGuire: Can we just let it drop? We're going in circles--

Narissa Sykes: No, we cannot let it drop, Paul. You can't deny that Ruthven Sykes was critical to the empire that Roderick Burgess built and Ethel Cripps destroyed--

Paul McGuire: Okay, okay. Let's focus on the artifacts, like you said.

Narissa Sykes: We don't know what else Ethel might have stolen. Secrets. Research. She was at Roderick's elbow during some of his most sensitive work.

Paul McGuire: We don't even know what she might have overheard at Fawney Rig! It's not like we have any proof--

Narissa Sykes: Hey! Kid! Get back here!

Paul McGuire: Stop that child!

Receptionist: What on earth is going on?!

Narissa Sykes: Lock the door! The kid's a thief!

Heather After: Othelion. See you never.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Heather After: Oh God...My head...Hello? Hello? What was it all for? What was it all for?

-------------------------------------------------------

Narration: Power is elusive. "The Kingmaker" believes he controls the throne. That the power resides in him. The throne is merely a symbol. But symbols have a power of their own. All rulers are just in their own dreams. The sleep of the tyrant is the most untroubled of all. For the tyrant, seeing betrayal everywhere, never suspects himself.

-------------------------------------------------

Unseelie #1: Huh?!

Ruin: Surprised to see me?

Unseelie #1: How did you get here? How did you escape?!

Ruin: Dream gave me permission to walk between worlds. So as soon as your guard was down, I just left. And now you are in my realm. The difference is, as long as you're asleep, you can't leave. And you're going to pay for what you did to my friends.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in the Palace of Dreams.

Dream: Hmm?

Matthew: Something wrong, boss?

Dream: Ruin has just re-entered the Dreaming. I can feel him.

Matthew: So? I thought you gave him permission to wander around.

Dream: I did. But his passage is causing... unforeseen ripples in the fabric of the worlds.

======================

The Faerie King, Part 4

Old Branch, New Jersey

Heather After (IM): The Dreaming is not just a place. It is an idea, drawing together dreamers across time and space, returning them again and again to the same stories. But the stories, too, live their own lives. It is not merely the dreamer who wishes to return to the dream. The dream itself longs for the dreamer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Faerie

Sprite (Jophiel): Ruin? Heather? Can you hear me? Where are you?

Heather After: Hnng? J-Jophiel? I'm here! I'm over here!

Jophiel: ...Heather?

Unseelie #1: So. One of the Heavenly Host has come to interfere in the sovereignty of our realm.

Jophiel: Hnngh?

Unseelie #2: But your feathered friends cannot protect you here, cherub.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Dreaming

Ruin: I didn't mean for it to go this far. All I ever wanted was to be something else. Something less awful. But as long as I have this power... Shouldn't I use it to defend the people I care about? That isn't wrong, is it?

Dream: Ruin. I see you have come home. Welcome back.

Ruin: Lord Dream! You're-- you're not angry with me?

Dream: Why should I be? You are doing what you were created to do. I cannot condemn something I made for behaving according to its nature.

Unseelie #1: Hrrk Kaff Kaff!

Ruin: But can powers like this ever be used to do good? To...to be good?

Dream: Such a limited question. There is more to goodness than what seems good and more to evil than what a mortal mind finds frightening.

Unseelie #1: You...You allow this creature to meddle in the affairs of the Fae... This is your doing--your attempt to sway the course of our history--all do know what you and the former Queen Titania were to each other--

Dream: We are not in Faerie, Counselor. You are in my realm now.

Unseelie #1: But that thing can travel in the realm of flesh. It couldn't do so without your permission. If anything should go awry in Faerie as a result of this transgression...it will be on your head. Dream King.

Dream: I...I did not think Ruin would stray as far as Faerie. I assumed the worst harm he could possibly do would be to himself.

Ruin: I haven't harmed anything, have I? He'll be fine when he wakes up in a couple of days, he'll barely remember. Please just let my friends go. Let them go and I'll never bother you again.

Unseelie #1: Tell your master to release me and I shall.

Dream: Very well. Awake--Ruin shall never set foot in Faerie again... though I cannot promise that you will never encounter him here.

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Unseelie #1: Gghh! It... it was just a dream... just a dream...

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Jophiel: Let go! Unhand me!

Unseelie #2: Not until the Queen sees what you really are, and passes judgment.

Unseelie #1: No! Stop.

Unseelie #3: But Counselor--

Unseelie #1: Let them go. Let them all go. We shall deal with them another way. The reckoning is at hand.

Jophiel: What have you done with Ruin?

Unseelie: Your nightmare has slithered off to hide in the Dream King's skirts. He is safe for now. Though if he ever shows himself here again, I will not vouch for his life, or his sanity.

Jophiel: And... Heather?

Heather After: I'm here. I think I'm afraid of the dark now. 

Jophiel: I thought you were dead! Or worse!

Heather After: Not dead, just humbled. And I have a migraine. 

Jophiel: Do you know how crazy this was? Why did I listen to you? Do you have any idea what kind of trouble we've gotten ourselves into? Three separate realms are now entangled in what is essentially a domestic spat between two faeries!

Heather After: You were right, you were right. But what choice did I have? I still owe the fucking Faerie King a debt! I'm screwed if I don't work this out!

Queen Nuala: King? But there is no King here. I'm the Queen. They tell me you've come here to get rid of me. Why? I've never done anything to you.

Heather After: It wasn't personal, your, uh, your highness. King Auberon lifted a curse I was dealing with, and now I owe him a favour. A big one.

Queen Nuala: You must be a very powerful sorcerer if Auberon asked you.

Heather After: I mean, I thought I was. But to be honest, I think I wanted to fail. I don't even believe in monarchy. I'm sort of an anarchist.

Queen Nuala: Strange that a human believes in fairies, but not in kings.

Heather After: Yeah, well, I come from a really weird family. Where are we going?

Queen Nuala: Somewhere my counselors can't hear us... Forget Auberon. If you switch sides and help me, I'll owe you a big debt.

Heather After: But why would you need me? You already won.

Queen Nuala: You wouldn't say that if you knew what they were like.

Heather After: Who?

Queen Nuala: The Unseelie. My counsellors.

Heather After: But they helped put you on the throne, right?

Queen Nuala: I didn't realise that their help would come with such a terrible cost... Let me show you-- After I used Titania's true name to defeat her, I thought the war was over. Little did I know it had just begun. I wanted to bring justice. Make things fair. To bestow favor not upon whoever was wittiest or most beautiful, but who was most in need. But they wouldn't listen. I sent supplies. Aid I tried to make everyone see that I only wanted to be a better ruler than Auberon was. But they always wanted more than what they needed. They killed each other to hoard wealth. I thought I had failed. But then they came. The Unseelie. And they offered to help. Soon, they were everywhere. The fighting stopped but everything else stopped too. No more dancing. No more laughter. The trees didn't even grow. The most beautiful of all the realms started to die of fear. That's when I realized I wasn't really queen. Not anymore. It wasn't my revolution at all. It was theirs. And now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make them leave.

Heather After: Wow. I had no idea I was getting into something this fraught. Have you thought about asking Auberon and Titania for help? You might be stronger together than you would divided.

Queen Nuala: After what I did? They probably hate me.

Heather After: Well yeah, but they also respect you--maybe even fear you--which they didn't before. Seems like a pretty clear advantage when you're trying to oust a bunch of creepy evil faeries.

Queen Nuala: I--I wonder if it's already too late. Everything is ruined I thought it would be like the stories...when you put the right ruler on the throne, you get happily ever after.

Heather After: Pff monarchist propaganda. I'm tired of standing on the shoulders of giants, aren't you?The giants have gotten small. Let's do something bold.

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Meanwhile. Not far away.

Titania: What is left when a dream dies? What is left when the life you built is gone?

Attendee: (Auberon) Fear not, my lady. The wheel of fortune turns, and may turn again.

Titania: It cannot unmake the past.

Attendee: (Auberon) My--Titania, there's something I must tell you. I'm not really--

Jophiel: Auberon! This little charade has gone far enough! It is time to settle this and get everyone back to their appointed realm before there is a true and epic disaster.

Titania: Auberon?!

Auberon: Surprise?

Titania: You mean I've been unburdening myself to my own husband?! Will I ever live down this humiliation?!

Auberon: My love---

Titania: Don't you dare my love me. We haven't been my love in a long time.

Auberon: Before you murder me, there is something I need to say. Titania-- my wife--my beloved--I'm sorry. For everything.

Titania: You're... apologising? To me?

Auberon: We cannot unmake the past, but can we begin it again?

Titania: Auberon-- If only we had been more open with each other, we could have avoided so much pain...I should never have bedded the King of Dreams...

Auberon: Wait, what?

Heather After: Lady Titania, I know there's bad blood, but we're here to help against our common foe. That's appropriately grandiose, right?

Titania: Oh it's peace now, is it? Her Unseelie allies have destroyed the realm, but now she wants peace?

Queen Nuala: I swear I never meant for it to turn out like this.

Titania: So you admit you should never have stolen our throne?

Queen Nuala: No. I admit no such thing.You were terrible rulers.

Titania: What?!

Queen Nuala: Everybody suffered under you. People may be fed up with me, but no one wants you back on the throne.

Titania: I am noble and beautiful and ancient. I am what a queen ought to be. You are just--

Queen Nuala: A queen ought to have the welfare of her subjects in mind. You never did.

Auberon: You have been singularly unhelpful. When you summoned me, I assumed you must be a real sorceress.

Heather After: Yeah, well, this little scenario doesn't exactly make use of my skills.

Auberon: What are you waiting for? This realm is dying at our feet! When do you plan to reveal your great magic?

Unseelie #4: Oh, it's much too late for that. Your little coup will not succeed, summoner. Even with the interference of the Dream King and the Cherub, you don't have the strength to remove us.

Auberon: This is our land. Our home. The throne matters less than the legacy. You have divided us, but you cannot destroy us. We are eternal. And we have at our aid a powerful sorceress, who has merely been waiting for the right time to strike--

Heather After: I have?!

Auberon: Yes, you have! Exercise these skills you speak of, or we are all doomed!

Unseelie #4: Oh, you mean your new friend? We have ways of dealing with her. The wisest ruler is always looking for some advantage, even when he is in disgrace.

Puck: One never knows what small piece of information could prove vital in the fullness of time.

Auberon: Puck. You turncoat. I might have known.

Puck: I serve only the victors, sire. And, in doing so, I serve myself.

Unseelie #4: You didn't think we would prepare? That we are without resources in your world? Fairies are patient. Our grudges last centuries. And you made the wrong enemies. We know your true name, sorceress. Your real name. The name you were given at your birth. And with it, we can bend you to our will. Your true name is Ell-- --is Ellio--it's Ell -- (kaff kaff) It's-- (kaff! kaff kaff kaff)

Heather After: Wooo! You thought you could control me by telling me the name on my birth certificate? Let me tell you a little secret, counsellor. There is no such thing as a true name. I give you a name---and the name is lost.

======================

The Faerie King, Finale

Queen Nuala: Wow. I've never seen anybody do that to one of the Unseelie before.

Heather After: Oh, you know. There had to be some benefits to being the grandkid of a narcissistic wizard with delusions of grandeur.

Queen Nuala: See! You're not so tough after all! You creepy, nasty, awful, lying, sneaky, dishonest, power-hungry, untrustworthy, lurking, lying liars-- I could have been what I wanted to be. I could have been a good queen. But I trusted the wrong people.

Titania: It...it was all my fault. This civil war. I had grown so used to being obeyed, it made me cruel; I crushed those around me whom I should have uplifted.

Auberon: This isn't the end of Faerie. We can rebuild, my love.

Titania: Can we? Even in Faerie, such destruction cannot be fixed overnight. It takes time.

Queen Nuala: If you think you can just put things back the way they were, think again. I wasn't the only one who hated you. People may think I was a bad queen, but they thought you were terrible.

Heather After: Has it occurred to anybody that maybe monarchy itself is the problem? Like, maybe this is a chance to organise yourselves differently?

Auberon: The sorceress would have us give the gnomes and harpies a vote!

Titania: How very droll!

Jophiel: You'll find no converts to anarchy here.

Heather After: I'm just trying to help!

Jophiel: Have you seen these people? They're beyond help. I'm worried about Ruin. Something's wrong.

Heather After: If the counsellors don't have him, who does?

Jophiel: No idea. I have a feeling he's not in Faerie anymore.

Heather After:  You mean we lost him?!

Jophiel: You lost him. I'm the one who tried to keep you both from getting killed.

Heather After: We have to get out of here--

Auberon: What about your promise?

Heather After: I just trapped your mortal enemy in an unbreakable circle! I've more than fulfilled my promise! Anything else is stuff you need to work out amongst your damn selves!

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New Jersey, Not Long After

Ruin: Todd!

Todd: Huh?! Ruin? Where did you come from?

Ruin:  The Dreaming, where else?

Todd: Weren't you guys supposed to be fighting elves or something? Where's Heather?

Ruin: That's the thing. You've got to use that Faerie seed Heather gave you--bring them back now. She and Jophiel are in danger.

Todd: Danger? How? Why? What happened over there?

Ruin: We messed up. We were completely unprepared for how bad it had gotten in Faerie. And then I-- I--

Todd: What's wrong with you?

Ruin:  I...hurt somebody. They were a bad person, but I hurt them, and I was so angry that I didn't care. And now I wonder if they were right. Brute and Glob. Matthew. All of them. Maybe I am evil. Maybe I can't be anything but evil, no matter how hard I try. What if this is all I have to give? What if all I have to offer the boy I saw is bad dreams?

Todd:  I think you seem like a nice guy, if it's any consolation.

Ruin: It's not enough. I can't be what I want. I can only be what I am. It's hopeless.

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Ben: Useless. Why do I keep trying? Huh? ... Azar! What are you doing here at this hour?

Azar: I need a favour, Ben. I left my work locker keys at a patient's house.

Ben:  You went to a patient's house? Why?

Azar: It was complicated, okay? Can you come with me? A lot of weird shit happened last time I was there. I'd feel better with some support.

Ben: Sure, sure. Just let me grab my coat.

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Jophiel: How do you know Todd will know when to get us out of here?

Heather After:  I know because I cast synchronicity on him before we left!

Jophiel: You what?!

Heather After: I know, I know, you're not supposed to mess with cause and effect too much, or else you'll screw up the timeline. I--I did something else too.

Jophiel: Oh God, what now?

Heather After: You're gonna kill me, but if you can't put your finger on the scales in the name of love, what is the point --- I cast the same thing on Ruin. I just couldn't bear the idea of him never finding the man he loved. Sometimes you have to give destiny a little push, you know?

Jophiel: Can I tell you something?

Heather After: What?

Jophiel: So did I.

Heather After:  What?!

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Todd: Did I do this right?

Ruin: Dream knew.

Todd: I don't think I did this right.

Ruin:  He knew I can't really love. He was trying to spare my feelings.

Todd:  I just sort of threw the acorn thingy at the floor... Could you get that? I need to concentrate.

Ruin:  I don't think I've ever seen you concentrate. And you don't have to do all that stuff with your hands! The seed does all the work for you! They're probably tumbling between worlds right---now...

----------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile

Heather After: I thought you said you hated Ruin! That he was the thing standing in the way of you getting back into heaven!

Jophiel: He was! But love is something sacred! So many people are never happy. I'm supposed to even the odds just a little in favour of happiness. That's my job. And if doing my job means I'll never get back home, then so be it.

Heather After:  Huh?!

Jophiel: The choir. I can hear it. My siblings... calling me... I passed the test. I thought Ruin destroyed my chance of ever returning home. But he was the test itself.

Heather After: Wait! Stop! Will I ever see you again?!

Jophiel: I'm always there, Heather. Even when you can't see me. That's how it works. Farewell, Heather After. Keep an eye on Ruin. You must have the courage to defend what you have brought forth. And watch your head.

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Azar: And you guys just let the nightmare thing hang out in your house?

Todd: Sure. He's a good guy once you get past the snakes and the goo. I--

Heather After: Todd?

Todd:  Heather! Oh my God! We were so worried! Did you fix the Faerie stuff?

Heather After:  Sort of yeah. Have you seen Ruin? Has he been through here recently?

Todd:  Well, it's weird you should ask...

Azar: I had to swing by to pick up my keys. I brought a friend with me. Ruin opened the door, and then it was like---

Todd:  Like--

Azar: --- Like they knew each other somehow. Like love at first sight.

Heather After:  You mean I missed it?! Where are they now?

Todd:  Ruin took him to the Dreaming. To be alone.

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Ben: It can't be. I'm making you up.

Ruin: Then don't stop. ...What am I saying. I shouldn't have brought you here. This is a mistake. A selfish one. You don't want anything to do with me. I'm something vile and evil. I've been trying to fight it, but--I see now what I really am.

Ben: I don't believe you. You're not evil. Not even close.

Ruin: You can't possibly know that. Look what happened when I was in your dream--I terrified you. I can remember your face. I turned you from the path you were meant to take.

Ben:  I don't remember that part. I remember how frightened you were. I remember wanting to call out to you, to try to help, but then you were gone. It wasn't fear that made me leave the seminary. It was realising I wanted you more than I wanted that life. Don't leave again. Please.

Ruin: I'll try.

Dream: Ruin. I must speak with you.

Ruin:  What do you want?

Dream: Don't make me say it in front of the boy.

Ruin: I haven't done anything wrong. We had an agreement.

Dream: Which has had unforeseen consequences. Allowing you to search for this boy has altered the fate of my own realm, and of Faerie, and of many mortal lives as well. I do not blame you for what has occurred, Ruin. For a creature without a heart, you have managed to follow yours most admirably. But that does not change the facts.

Ruin: I won't give him up.

Dream:  I'm afraid you must. He must return to his own world, and you to yours.

Ben: Ruin? What's happening? What--

Ruin: No! Stop! Hnnggh!

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Heather After:  And then, they made me their queen.

Azar: Wait, really?

Heather After: No, not really. I tried to convince them to give up monarchy altogether. But-- huh?! --- Ruin?! Where are we going?

Todd:  ... I hate it when he does that.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Heather After:  Are you gonna tell me what's going on? Where are you taking me?

Ruin:  Anywhere. Away.

Heather After:  Okay, but why am I being kidnapped?

Ruin:  Because you're the best wizard I've ever met. You have to help us. There must be a way to hide from him.

Heather After: Who?

Ruin: Dream, of course.

Heather After: So, the big guy has reneged on your deal. Interesting. I see the plot has thickened. And you're him, huh? The one so beautiful that a dream traded a chance to be with you for his own death? What's your name?

Ben: Benedict. Ben. Ruin's told me all about you.

Heather After:  Nothing good, I hope. Okay, friends and neighbours. Stand back. This is liable to get messy.

Dream: You dare run from me? I who have been so patient, so merciful...

Heather After: That's close enough, Dream King. You made Ruin a promise.

Dream: Your loyalty to your friends is admirable, but this is absurd. You cannot possibly hope to best me.

Heather After: You have no idea what I--

Ben: Wait. Stop. I don't understand all of this, but I do know Ruin deserves another chance. He's convinced he's something dangerous and evil, that he's turned me from my path. But I made my own choices. I decided to leave that path before I even knew he was real. That's on me, not him.

Dream:  You're very brave. And you're right. Ruin is not evil. He never was.

Ruin: I'm not?

Dream:  No. You are a dream. You are terrifying, but in your terror lies a lesson--one from which the dreamer learns when they awake. They wake from you, glad to be alive. You are not evil. You are necessary.

Heather After: Then why separate them? If Ruin hasn't really hurt anybody, why keep them apart?

Dream:  Because there is no realm in which they can coexist without causing chaos. I will not go to war with the Unseelie or the Heavenly Host on Ruin's behalf.

Heather After:  I just saw Jophiel get raptured or something for taking Ruin's side. You know what big-G God is like... They adore paradoxes. Heaven is going to be fine.

Dream:  Nevertheless, the risk is too great. I know better than anyone what follows when a dream falls in love with a mortal being. Now get out of the way, or I will remove you myself.

Heather After: Sorry. Can’t.

Dream: What?

Heather After: I give you a coin I made from a stone. I give you a song I stole from the dirt. I give you a knife from under the hills.

Dream: What is this? How did you–

Heather After: And a feather I plucked from an angel’s wing. That last bit’s not an idle threat, either. I picked up this baby that last time Jophiel did his terrifying biblical thing.

Dream: How did you get that spell?

Heather After: My great-grandmother was more than just Burgess’s side piece. She was listening, and I listened to her. So here’s how it’s going to go: You’re going to let Ruin and Ben stay together, and I’ll never say the final stanzas of that spell.

Dream: You are making a mistake for which there is no forgiveness. Ruin will still be mortal. And your family and mine will once again be at war. It didn’t end well for you the last time.

Heather After: I’ll take that chance.

Dream: True love is rarely the happy ending of any story, Heather After. It’s tempting to believe, but the evidence of the centuries suggests otherwise.

Heather After: True. But that doesn’t mean we have permission to give up. In the end, this is all we have. Hope that this time, we’ve found something real. Something lasting. We have to protect it, come what may. Because this is what dreams are made of.