Alexi

Will you ever speak to him again, Lexi?

I don't know.

You don't?

No.

Well, if you ask me, I think it's for the best.

You do?

I agree.

As do I.

Is... is that how you all feel?

Hmm.

Pretty much, aye.

Oh... Right.

But it's up to you, babes. He's your uncle after all.

I'll ... see. I've currently left him on read.

Oh, because that will properly show him, like.

Oh, like you've never ghosted someone, Kennie.

Aye, I ghosted many people. Just not my own family. They were all usually just pricks who wouldn't take no.

Your family?

The Grindr kind, you bell end.  Ha. Back in the glory days of 24. Doesn't have the same ring to it as 04, does it?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be. I had a wild sex life in my early 20s. Before I met Tez and turned ... ugh... 27. Now it's very much us... and maybe the milkman, if we are running low on both milk and money.

The milkman?

Aye. The milkman. And he knows how to make the cream flow if you know what I mean. For both Tez and me.

Eww, Kennie! I'm eating here.

Prude.

Dairy products, you dick. Last thing I want to be thinking about while eating my cottage cheese is your ... yoghurt.

So, Alexi, your uncle, does he ... Say that kind of stuff to you often?

He's been saying it for as long as I can remember. It started after he caught me watching High School Musical on the Disney Channel. He was babysitting at the time, and he asked if I wanted to be a basketball player like Troy when I was older. I told him no, when I grow up, I want to be like Ryan, and he called me a poof.

How original.

Yep. It didn't end there, though. That just started the "girlfriend arc."

And he wonders why he never gets a Christmas card from his nephew.

Nah, he knows. It's my aunt who wants me to come round more.

And she doesn't mind?

Not to the same degree. She still asks about girlfriends, but maintains that it might just be a phase.

Oh yes, which phase are you, full, half, or eclipse?

Blood. Rising.

Ha. You sound so funny, waxing lyrical over the moon. But I think we should get back to your uncle; the jokes are waning. That is the last one, I promise.

Can't think of any more?

... No.

Me neither. Alexi?

Nah, I used all mine up.

Damn. Nae mind. So, if you agree to go over for theirs for Christmas, you appease the family, but you have to hide your sexuality. If you don't, you lose your family, but you get to be open and honest with us. Is that what they have said?

Not in those words, but ... yeah.

Shit. Sorry.

I think I might just leave it. We were never that close anyway.

You sure?

Yeah.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah? No? Ugh... I don't know.

Well, it's November 26th. You have time to think about it.

He wants answers. He has a turkey to buy. And seat placings to organise. And---

If he can't wait a few extra days for his nephew to get back to him during exam season, then maybe he needs to take his head out of the turkey.

Hmm. It will only be playing happy families. It always is... You know what, fuck it, I'm not going. I just can't pretend anymore. Is there room for one more?

Of course there is, babes. I'll just have to ask Tez to bring down the camping chairs from the loft. Oh, you can sit beside Cedric.

Who's Cedric?

The milkman.